My Dad the Cyberstalker

I've always hated that website, ratemyprofessor.com, not because of the fact that students get to make stupid public comments about me, but because my dad also gets to see those comments. Here is a conversation from 2007, when I first started accumulating student evaluations on the website.

Dad: Do your students ever have a hard time believing you're the instructor?

Me: Maybe. That's why I'll dress up a bit when I teach. You know, to look professional and all.

Dad: Is that why your students think you're HOT?

Me: ???

Dad: Is that why they say you have cute shoes? Heh heh...

Me: Have you been looking at my ratemyprofessors.com profile, dad?!

Dad: Of course! When I google you, that's the first thing that pops up!

Me (truly creeped out about the idea of my dad cyberstalking me): When the hell did you learn how to google search people?

Dad: Come on! Your old man isn't that stupid! I learned how to put videos on youtube!

Me: Yeah, and we were all shocked that you figured it out. You can't even operate the DVD player!

Dad: Shit, come on!

END.

Teaching Advice from Dad

At every end of term, my dad urges me to be easy on my students while I'm figuring out their final grades. Here's why:

Dad: How are your students' papers?

Me: In any pile, aside from the two that are excellent and two that are disastrous, they're generally mediocre-to-bad.

Dad: Do you ever give your students Fs?

Me: Only if they don't turn in the work. So long as they do the work, even if it's awful, they will pass the class.

Dad: For the bad students, don't give them Ds or Fs, okay? A C is a good enough warning.

Me: Dad, that's grade inflation. C is supposed to be average. But yeah, that's usually what ends up happening anyway. I stick in so many easy assignments, the average usually ends up being a B, sadly.

Dad: Good. Because when I was at the University of Chicago, one of my classmates got so mad at his professor for not passing him on his thesis, that he shot and killed the guy and then shot himself.

Me: ... Uh...

Dad: So don't be too harsh on your students. They might kill you.

END.