Bro: Question. Do you think I could wear pants with my sailor outfit? Because it's snowing and I don't want to be walking through Brooklyn in short shorts.
Me: Sure. You could be like Gene Kelly from On the Town.
Bro: But I don't want to be that kind of sailor. I want to be a prepubescent boy sailor.
Me: Of course you do.
Bro: [trying on the costume as he's talking on the phone] Ugh, the costume really is much cuter without pants.
Me: Don't you have a long coat?
Bro: No.
Me: How about wearing pants to the party and then changing into the shorts in the bathroom?
Bro: That's too much trouble. Argh! My life is so difficult!
Me: [also trying on my costume while talking on the phone] Crap. I forgot how short this Strawberry Shortcake costume is. I'm going to freeze my ass off.
Bro: Fuck it, I'm just going to freeze my ass off.
Me: Snow really makes dressing slutty for Halloween rather difficult.
Bro: I know!
END.
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